Paying Attention to Attention - Part 1
02. One of the hard parts
03. The list, for now
04. (Morning Wake Up Wars): #1: The automatic timer scare yourself awake alarm method
05. More than 2 items needs a list
06. (Morning Wake up Wars): #2: The Ritalin Freight Train Wake Up Routine
07. (Morning Wake up Wars): #3: I used to set my clock radio to the wrong time
08. Other Clocks, Other Times
09. They say Energy Follows Attention
10. The clock tricks went on for years
-- Bertrand Russell
02. One of the hard parts(Paying Attention to Attention - Part 2 - July 29, 2011)
Of all the aspects of being hyper-minded, the one I have to encounter and reengage most is this cycle of remembering and forgetting, of over focus and under focus, of obsession and neglect, of clarity and confusion.
I remember the strangest things, like jingles from every product advertised in the 1970s, and lines from songs I've heard just once or twice. I remember odd little facts gleaned from a wayward morning reading 5 magazines, a stack of junk mail and a couple cereal boxes, but can't remember what's most important on my list of work for the day... Or more accurately, can't decide which item is most important, even though last night, I knew, because I worked on it non-stop for several hours, long past bedtime.
So when I get focused on something, once a task or need has my attention, I tend to try doing all of it in one sitting, even if it's not physically possible to do so. I tend to dive in to something that interests me and see all the possibilities, shiny surfaces and answers at once, like a constellation.
In fact, I've usually referred to it as constellation focus... I see all these related points in any given investigation or simple research. The number of things that just make sense to me at one time can be impressive...
Even if I am making up half of the supposed connections and telling stories to make it all make more sense in my head.
As I write this now, though, on a Friday night in July 2011, I am in one of those states of fog, forgetting and uncertainty, wondering why I thought this would be useful or even possible for me.
Because yesterday morning, I was in a head space in which everything made a certain sense, I could see and name the list of potential topics for a blog about paying attention to attention. It clicked. I wrote some of the ideas down. About an hour after writing them down, I looked at the list and decided it doesn't make sense, doesn't have enough juice or detail to inspire me to the level of readiness to write I felt when first envisioning it.
I'm looking at the list right now.
It's looking back at me.
But it's not saying anything.