Your mind cannot heal without laughter. Your soul cannot heal without joy. -- Catherine Rippenger Fenwick |
Jennifer & MeganJennifer ErinBorn in September 1980 to a hopelessly TOO young 20 year-old boy and his equally too young 20 year-old wife. She was nearly a month premature and had hard times in her infancy. Didn't take her long to catch up. In '94 she's 5'8" and almost 14... and beautiful. The day she was born I wrote this silly but emotional song: "Welcome, little flower You bring me so much joy here in my lonely hours And though we only met today I know our love Is gonna go A long, Long way I know your Momma & I are Gonna love you, little lady for all our lives The light that shined when you opened your eyes Is making my world look brighter & brighter It's making my soul feel lighter & lighter Jenni What did I do to deserve you Little love of mine Oh Jenni Little Lady I love you Jenni When I saw you born I knew my life would come to mean So much more And I Just wanna spend that life with you Such a Beautiful girl! She's brought so much peace to my troubled world Jennifer Erin, Fair & Peace Jenni, that's what your name means And today, when you arrived It restored some perspective to my life For months I didn't quite realize But when I saw you born it finally dawned on me When I held you I felt so proud to be your Daddy Jenni What did I do to deserve you Little love of mine Oh Jenni Little Lady I love you Jenni When I saw you born My life suddenly came to mean So much more You know, you've brought so much love To my world What a lovely addition you've made To my world Yeah, your Momma & me we got ourselves a lovely little girl." She became, immediately, my reason for getting up in the morning. D & I were already in bad times. The first 5 years were the worst for the 2 of us. Then it got better for 5 or 6. Actually, it was pretty good for those 5 or 6, but that's another story. We figured she'd remain an only child, because we were never sure if we'd even make it. All her friends as a baby were adults. Made her rather mature for her age. Made her rather independent and very strong willed. But she was a MAJOR Daddy's girl. Once, when I moved out during a particularly bad time in 1983, I could stand it only a week. I came home & stayed home for her. We went out a lot together. Before she was old enough to talk very well, I'd snatch her up and take her to the mall or to get donuts on Sunday mornings. I'd tell her all about my fucked-up life and how sad I was that it had to be that way, but that she was my reason for living. Even after she could talk, I told her more than I should sometimes. She just seemed so grown up sometimes, and she's been that way all along. She knows I don't really know how to parent. Nobody does. But I tell her that I'm doing the best I can. I think she knows. She knows we get along. She fights a lot with her Mother, but don't they all? Megan Elizabeth An incredibly sensitive young spirit. It's 1994 at this writing and Meg is 9. She's creative, funny, writes stories with great depth for such a young one... She's so delicate and tender hearted. Far smaller than Jenni was at nine (she looks 7), she is practically a clone of her mother at that age in appearance (Indian blood, dark eyes, hair & complexion). Just lovely. She still makes me something, a picture or a story, several times a week. We read a lot at bedtime (Jen is a little too old, now, though sometimes I think she'd like to) and when I'm away (in or out of town) her Mom doesn't often do any bedtime reading. She hates it when I'm not around, so she has been a primary reason for our attempts to stay together. What will we do when they're both grown? Quite possibly let go with a long, exhausted sigh............ Megan has a wild sense of humor. She entertains visitors with jokes and impersonations. She wants to be a comedian when she grows up. Or a writer. She's written stories for friends & relatives and some of them actually paid her for them (one paid her $20 for a book she made for a gift). So now she's excited about writing. A paid & published author at 9. Imagine that. I hope she and I are gonna have a LOT to talk about as she grows older. She made me a book for Father's day. Spent 2 months on this hardbound book of blank pages. Drew & colored pictures and wrote a lot about what she loves and what she remembers. She remembers the wildest things. One Friday night, she & I were alone and I took her to a local restaurant for some pizza. We stayed and talked for over 2 hours. I remembered less than she did. We'd recently seen "Schindler's List" and talked about the concentration camps, ovens and gas chambers. In my book, she drew a picture of how she'd pictured that to be and asked me if I remembered our dinner discussion. It made me cry. She also dedicated 3 or 4 pages to asking me how much I love her and why. This, in spite of the fact that I tell her and tell her why a lot, particularly in my letters. It underscores how important it is to tell them they are loved and valued. And how important it is NOT to abuse and hurt them. If a loved child is insecure, how much more insecure is a damaged child? I love you, Megan. I love you, Jenni. |
Copyright 1992 - 2010 by Randy Weeks
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