What is sacred about all of our lives, even those of us who would never dream of using such a word for it, is that God speaks to us through what happens to us - even through such unpromising events as walking up the road to get the mail out of the mailbox, maybe, or seeing something in the news that brings you up short, or laughing yourself silly with a friend. If skeptics ask to be shown an instance of God speaking to them in their lives, I suggest that they pay closer attention to the next time when, for unaccountable reasons, they find tears in their eyes.
-- Frederick Buechner

Jennifer & Megan

Jennifer & Megan

Jennifer Erin
Born in September 1980 to a hopelessly TOO young 20 year-old boy and his equally too young 20 year-old wife. She was nearly a month premature and had hard times in her infancy. Didn't take her long to catch up. In '94 she's 5'8" and almost 14... and beautiful.

The day she was born I wrote this silly but emotional song:

    "Welcome, little flower
    You bring me so much joy here in my lonely hours
    And though we only met today
    I know our love
    Is gonna go
    A long, Long way
    I know your Momma & I are
    Gonna love you, little lady for all our lives
    The light that shined when you opened your eyes
    Is making my world look brighter & brighter
    It's making my soul feel lighter & lighter

    What did I do to deserve you
    Little love of mine
    Oh Jenni
    Little Lady
    I love you
    When I saw you born
    I knew my life would come to mean
    So much more
    And I
    Just wanna spend that life with you

    Such a Beautiful girl!
    She's brought so much peace to my troubled world
    Jennifer Erin, Fair & Peace
    Jenni, that's what your name means
    And today, when you arrived
    It restored some perspective to my life
    For months I didn't quite realize
    But when I saw you born it finally dawned on me
    When I held you I felt so proud to be your Daddy

    What did I do to deserve you
    Little love of mine
    Oh Jenni
    Little Lady
    I love you
    When I saw you born
    My life suddenly came to mean
    So much more
    You know, you've brought so much love
    To my world
    What a lovely addition you've made
    To my world
    Yeah, your Momma & me we got ourselves a lovely little girl."

She became, immediately, my reason for getting up in the morning. D & I were already in bad times. The first 5 years were the worst for the 2 of us. Then it got better for 5 or 6. Actually, it was pretty good for those 5 or 6, but that's another story.
We figured she'd remain an only child, because we were never sure if we'd even make it.

All her friends as a baby were adults.

Made her rather mature for her age.

Made her rather independent and very strong willed.

But she was a MAJOR Daddy's girl. Once, when I moved out during a particularly bad time in 1983, I could stand it only a week. I came home & stayed home for her.

We went out a lot together. Before she was old enough to talk very well, I'd snatch her up and take her to the mall or to get donuts on Sunday mornings. I'd tell her all about my fucked-up life and how sad I was that it had to be that way, but that she was my reason for living. Even after she could talk, I told her more than I should sometimes. She just seemed so grown up sometimes, and she's been that way all along. She knows I don't really know how to parent. Nobody does. But I tell her that I'm doing the best I can. I think she knows. She knows we get along. She fights a lot with her Mother, but don't they all?

Megan Elizabeth
An incredibly sensitive young spirit. It's 1994 at this writing and Meg is 9. She's creative, funny, writes stories with great depth for such a young one...
She's so delicate and tender hearted. Far smaller than Jenni was at nine (she looks 7), she is practically a clone of her mother at that age in appearance (Indian blood, dark eyes, hair & complexion). Just lovely.

She still makes me something, a picture or a story, several times a week. We read a lot at bedtime (Jen is a little too old, now, though sometimes I think she'd like to) and when I'm away (in or out of town) her Mom doesn't often do any bedtime reading. She hates it when I'm not around, so she has been a primary reason for our attempts to stay together.
What will we do when they're both grown? Quite possibly let go with a long, exhausted sigh............

Megan has a wild sense of humor. She entertains visitors with jokes and impersonations. She wants to be a comedian when she grows up. Or a writer. She's written stories for friends & relatives and some of them actually paid her for them (one paid her $20 for a book she made for a gift). So now she's excited about writing. A paid & published author at 9. Imagine that. I hope she and I are gonna have a LOT to talk about as she grows older.
She made me a book for Father's day. Spent 2 months on this hardbound book of blank pages. Drew & colored pictures and wrote a lot about what she loves and what she remembers. She remembers the wildest things.

One Friday night, she & I were alone and I took her to a local restaurant for some pizza. We stayed and talked for over 2 hours. I remembered less than she did. We'd recently seen "Schindler's List" and talked about the concentration camps, ovens and gas chambers.

In my book, she drew a picture of how she'd pictured that to be and asked me if I remembered our dinner discussion. It made me cry.

She also dedicated 3 or 4 pages to asking me how much I love her and why. This, in spite of the fact that I tell her and tell her why a lot, particularly in my letters. It underscores how important it is to tell them they are loved and valued. And how important it is NOT to abuse and hurt them. If a loved child is insecure, how much more insecure is a damaged child?

I love you, Megan.

I love you, Jenni.

Copyright 1978 - 2024 by Randy Weeks
(This old site has been online since 1995... I'll redo it eventually, maybe...
Meanwhile, consider it a museum piece from the early web).

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